Through The Cold
by SynysterLovely
Summary: A tale of my Nord Dovahkiin Iskyla moving past what's happened to her and discovering her destiny and just how tied she is to the fact of Skyrim and the Empire itself. Despite it all she manages to find love even after she has sworn to never love again.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This is my first foray into Skyrim fanfiction writing. I hope you all like it. I had this posted a few days ago but I had written it in a haste so I pulled it down to rewrite it and this is the first chapter again. I hope you all like it! I own the character of Iskyla, but I don't own Farkas or any of the other Elder Scrolls characters or the universe.**

A deep sigh escaped my control as I headed out into the wilderness of Whiterun Hold. My job is to kill a group of bandits that had holed themselves up in some cave not far from Whiterun itself. It was just another of the menial jobs that Farkas and the others give out if there isn't something more important to do. It's an annoying job, but nothing I can't handle. I've been on many much more dangerous missions, but trekking out into the middle of nowhere doesn't exactly top my list of things I want to be doing today.

Subconsciously, I rubbed my bare arms. I really disliked the way steel armor is made. Why does it offer no protection for the arms? It always makes me nervous in a fight. A stray arrow can come flying out of nowhere and hit me in the arm possibly rendering that arm useless in a fight. It's not safe for a sword fighter. This was the main reason I even took this job, apart from being bored of sitting around Jorrvaskr waiting for an important job to come up. I'm three hundred gold short for a brand new set of armor that would actually protect my whole body as opposed to what the steel armor covers. I would love a set of wolf armor, but I would not feel right purchasing it unless I was made a member of the Circle.

The Circle was elusive and I really wonder what they do differently in the Circle from the rest of the Companions. It seemed to be made up of the older members, the ones who all got their own rooms. I thought there were supposed to be no leaders in the Companions, but it sure seems like there are. The setup is different from what I truly expected when I signed up.

A low growling pulled me from my thoughts. A wolf came running down the short hill towards where I stood. I drew my bow and notched an arrow. In a matter of seconds, the wolf was lying dead on the ground before me, an arrow lodged in its skull. The pests weren't even worth the cost of their pelts.

The sun climbed higher in the sky as I made my way. The cave sat on the border between Whiterun Hold and The Pale. I could see the mountains that the cave resided in not too far ahead of me. I was making decent time for spending more time in my head than on where I am going. I quickened my pace as the mountains loomed ever closer.

Before long, I found myself nearing the cave that was my target. A few lone bandits stood outside, no doubt keeping guard for whatever they deemed important enough to keep inside the cave. There were three bandits that I could see. There was a ledge above the cave that could host another bandit, but there was no way to see from this far down. I crouched down behind a rock next to the path that lead up to the cave. The three bandits were men, two Nords and a Redguard. The Nords both had a single axe and the Redguard had an iron sword. I could try to pick them off with my bow, or I could use my swords. I'm much better with my swords, but I don't know if I feel like going head on against three men.

I pulled out my bow and notched an arrow. Taking aim, I released the string and let the arrow fly. It narrowly missed the Nord closest to the door. They began frantically searching for the source of the stray arrow. I notched another arrow and let it shoot, it hit the other Nord in the arm. I hoped it was his strong arm. The Redguard quickly came around the corner and spotted me.

"Over here!" he yelled and the other two came flying down the path. Gods be damned! I drew my swords and advanced on the dark skinned man. He had little skill with his blade and I outmatched him greatly. I easily blocked his first attack and the sharp clang of metal filled the air. Using the sword in my weak arm, I slashed towards where he had left himself open and pierced through his leather armor digging the steel deep into his ribcage. He let out a garbled noise before slipping off my blade and onto the ground.

The other two were gaining ground quickly. The first Nord reached me with his axe raised. I managed to move out of the way quick enough to dodge his powerful blow. He paused for a moment looking me over.

"Look!" he suddenly called out, catching me off guard. "She's a woman! Get her!" Confusion filled me but I did not let that get in the way of what I needed to do. While he was paying more attention to his comrades, I drove my Blades sword through his soft leather armor and into his chest. In my moment of focus, some caused a sharp pain in my arm. I looked down and saw an arrow coming from my unprotected skin. Dammit!

The world around me was quickly becoming fuzzy. Poison! The damned arrow was poisoned! My reflexes slowed and I dove into my pack hoping to grasp a bottle of potion to counteract the effects. My fingers rummaged around but they lacked the strength to grasp anything. The world tilted and my body gave way to unconsciousness.

I groaned as I felt my body fight its way back into consciousness. I didn't want to go back to the conscious world just yet but my body felt otherwise. Feeling slowly made its way back into my limbs despite my will to just fade back into the blackness of sleep. Whatever I am laying on is cold and hard. Probably just a stone floor or rock. Memories of what had happened before my unconsciousness began to snake their way into my mind again. I groaned inwardly at the stupidity of the entire situation. My greatest fears with my armor had been realized, and now look where I am.

I pushed myself up onto my elbows and forced myself into a sitting position. My head swam and threatened to send me into unconsciousness again. Opening my eyes, I realized that I was not longer wearing my armor. Rags adorned my body instead of clothes or armor. It is clear that I am a prisoner. How could I let myself become prisoner to the bandits I was sent here to kill? I ground the heel of my palm into my forehead in sheer frustration.

Resigning, I took in my surroundings. I sat in a small rectangular cage. The only other thing in the cage was a small bed at the other end from the door. I had been rather unceremoniously dumped on the floor just inside the door. I guess it wasn't worth the effort to put me on the bed that was three more feet away. I huffed and examined my arm. It was bandaged up nicely which was a bonus. It lightly throbbed and was a pain I could simply ignore.

Looking past the bars of the cage I was sitting in, the room was fairly small. It was definitely the interior of a cave, so I was probably just dragged into the same cave and not taken somewhere else. There was a bookshelf tucked into the corner filled with various types of weapons and armors. It seems kind of dumb to put weapons in the same room as a prisoner. Next to the shelf was a small table with a single chair. The only things on the table were an empty bottle of mead and a book on Daedra. That in itself makes me a little nervous. Why would bandits have a book on Daedra?

Footsteps resounded off the stone walls. The only opening into the room was directly opposite of the door to the cage. I sat back eyeing the door carefully for whomever might walk through. A tinge of fear wiggled its way into my stomach as my eyes bored into the stone wall beyond the doorway. One of the bandits walked through the door. I didn't recognize him so he wasn't one of the ones outside. He was carrying a mug and half a loaf of bread. My stomach growled at the sight.

"Ah, looks like our new pet is finally awake. You been out a few days now. Reckon the poison on that arrow was a little too much for ya, little pet." His voice was thick with a Breton accent. He was much smaller than any of the other bandits I had seen, much less muscular. He was probably just the errand boy. He shoved the mug and the bread through the bars of the cage in front of me and strode out the door without a second glance. I eyed the food suspiciously but the pains in my stomach made the final decision for me. The small amount of food did not fill my stomach, but it chased away the pains of hunger for the time being.

The thought of the bandit who brought me my food made my blood boil. He called me pet. I am no one's pet. I am the Dragonborn for Talos' sake. I am not weak. I am not just some woman who they happened to capture due to weakness. I refuse to play that role.

With renewed determination I pull myself to my feet. My balance was unsteady at first but I found my footing as I made my way too the door. With a firm grasp on the bars, I shook the door with all my strength. The door didn't move. I eyed the lock carefully. It would not be difficult to pick if I had a way to do it. Turning around, my eyes poured over every crevice in the cage. There was nothing. Not even a stiff piece of straw I could use to even attempt to pick the lock. Defeated I leaned against the side of the cage. I'm truly helpless.

Fear began steadily growing in my stomach. This insufferable feeling of helplessness was not foreign to me. Not in the slightest. My eyes caught sight of a set of shackles firmly attached to the side of the cage solidified the sense of déjà vu. Memories I thought long suppressed began flooding into my mind. Images of bars and shackles and guards in red using me for their own selfish pleasure. All the pain I endured to make it here and I sat in a position similar to where I started.

My breath began to quicken as every single vivid memory pried its way from my subconscious into my current thoughts. I swore to myself to never be helpless again, to never be wearing rags similar to those I discarded quickly after making it into Skyrim. I swore to find strength and resolve in those painful memories and not submit to them. Tears began to well in my eyes despite me trying to will them away. I need to be in control, I always need to be in control. I will not be forced by the will of others.

The images frayed my fragile nerves and my breath came quicker and quicker. The world began to spin around me and I sank to the floor. My breathing nearly matched my heart rate and my vision began to blacken around the edges. I curled up tightly in a ball trying to calm myself down but it was beyond my reach of control and everything faded into black.


	2. Chapter 2

_"I promise you, if we ever get out of here I'll marry you. I swear it, Iskyla. This may be the worst damned place on Nirn but I'm glad I was thrown in here just for the fact that I got to meet you." A smile grew on my face at his words. His Morrowind accent was thick and always made him pronounce his words differently. I could sit and listen to it all day. Despite the darkness in the room I could see that his normally stoic face was tinged pink._

_"And I can't wait for that day, Tedril. We'll get out of here someday. I don't care if we have to break out, I want a life with you." He smiled softly and pushed my grayish hair behind my ear. The normal white had been dulled by weeks' worth of dirt. _

_"You're so optimistic, my love."_

_"I have already been in here nine years. I have to find something to grasp at. If not I fear I may lose my mind. " He simply smiled in response and pulled me closer to him._

_"You're so damned brave. The bravest woman I have ever met. You've been in here a big portion of your life with no sign of being free any time soon and yet you find reason to smile and have hope," he said softly. I just smiled in return. His lips pressed softly into mine and I was lost in the moment._

_Sunlight began to shine through the cracks in the walls. We pulled apart knowing the guards would be storming into the hall at any given second._

_"I love you," I whispered softly to him._

_"I love you too," he replied seconds before the door burst open and guards came storming down the hall shouting orders as loud as they could. They seemed to do that a lot. There were never orders given in a normal tone of voice. Tedril glanced over at me after he saw the guard that would be attending us today. A knot built in my stomach but I held my head high and held out my wrists as was the normal routine._

_"Good morning, prisoners," the Imperial guard snickered as he slipped the cuffs onto my wrists. He said nothing as he cuffed Tedril and dragged us both off to whatever physical labor they had planned for us today._

The dream violently jolted me awake. Tears streamed hotly and relentlessly down my face. I haven't dreamed of him in so long, I could not remember the last time. Sobs shook my body as control over my emotions slipped away. The image of his lifeless body was forever burned into my brain and nothing could ever shake that image from my head. The stress of the entire situation finally came to a peak and control over everything tore loose. Sobs tore relentlessly through my body and left me exhausted. Despite there being a barren bed in the cell, I haven't used it once since arriving here and my body ached from lying on the stone floor.

Once the sobbing finally receded, anger grew in the pit of my stomach, slowly consuming me. I am the fucking Dragonborn. I have fought and defeated dragons greater in power and strength than everyone in this damned cave combined and I let a single poisoned arrow take me down and place me in a helpless situation. There are just common bandits! Nothing more. It's not like they are Thalmor or Imperials! I growled deeply and punched the bars of the cage with all my strength.

"Aye, a little aggressive today aren't we, pet." The same bandit who fed me yesterday brought me more food today. He wore basic fur armor and had his head shaved close. My eyes raked him up and down determining how much of a threat he could pose. "Don't worry, you won't be sittin' in that cage all by your lonesome for long. Boss'll be back before the end of the day. Reckon he'll want a little fun with the new pet." A low growl moved its way from deep in my chest to my throat. The glare I sent him could have killed a wolf dead in its tracks.

"Ey, no need for that now." He reached through the bars and stroked my face. I hissed and twisted my face in disgust before turning away violently. "Well, better 'ope the boss is your cup o' tea or you're in for a hard time." He turned and walked towards the entrance of the room. He gave one last glance back at me before disappearing down the hallway. I looked at the food he left me and my stomach turned. I fought back a retch and stood facing the bed.

I stepped towards the bed and lightly pressed my weight against it. It creaked menacingly. My body ached all over and I longed deeply to be unconscious again. Maybe if I am asleep when the boss finally arrives he'll leave me. Not much of a chance, though. I sighed heavily.

A loud commotion came from down the hallway. I turned and faced the natural doorway. Voices yelled and objects were thrown around none too gently. The sound echoed through the entire cave system. What any of them were saying didn't reach me. Footsteps came violently pounding down the hallway. Another lighter set joined the heavy stomping. Shit. A tall Nordic bandit in much more expensive armor stormed into the room. The silver plated armor gleamed menacingly in the torchlight. He was nearly as big as Farkas. The same bandit that had been feeding me followed behind meagerly. Fear shone brightly in his eyes as he looked at the Nord. He was more than likely the bandit leader. I stared bad at him without wavering.

"So," the leader started, his Nordic accent coating his words thickly. "You are the little pet that got picked up." He strode closer to the cage and watched me with predatory eyes. I never broke eye contact. He moved more gracefully than the other bandits, but he lacked skill. He's still a bandit, leader or not. "What is a Companion whelp doing so far from Jorrvaskr? Hmm? Did those _dogs _send you to wipe us out? Did some scared little Breton hire you to destroy our little band?" I sat there expressionless glaring into his hardened eyes. His gaze reminded me way to much of the way the Imperials in the prison would look at me before they decided they wanted a little _fun._

"Not talking, hmmm? Fine. Have it your way. It'll be more fun for me in the end," his voice dropped to a growl at the end. He motioned sharply for the cowering man next to him to give him the key. A shaking hand transferred the key to my freedom over to the hulking Nord. Every muscle in my body tensed as I prepared for a fight. The lock clicked and he swung the door open with full force slamming it against the side of the cage. The bars vibrated with the resounding force. The Nord stormed in and towered over me as I sat on the bed. There was nowhere for me to flee and I frantically glanced around for a way to escape. The looking distracted me from the Nord's hand until it was too late. His hand came down, smashing me in the temple. The force sent my body flying and my head smacked into one of the bed posts. My consciousness slipped away in a cry of pain.


	3. Chapter 3

Nearly a week has passed since Iskyla left and she still hasn't come back. Between Vilkas, Skjor and me, we have sent her on much more dangerous missions. A simple bandit raid should be simple and easy for her. Something had to have gone wrong, there is no other explanation. She wouldn't just disappear on a missions. I spend nearly as much time with her as I do with Vilkas and I know for a certain fact that she would not abandon on a mission. She's as loyal to the Companions as I am. Uncertainty and worry passed over me in a nauseous wave. When she left, she told me she was heading straight to that cave and muttered something about needing the damned coin to buy herself a proper set of armor that actually covered her damned arms.

Another wave of unease passed over me and I shoved it off as I headed up the stairs and into the main hall. Aela was eating breakfast and cursing at Torvar's drunk ass. I shook my head and scanned the room for Vilkas. Nowhere to be found, my mind made the connection that he's probably out in the courtyard. He's taken to sitting out there in the mornings away from everyone else. I headed in that direction. Aela watched me walk through the main hall and opened her mouth as if to say something, but I ignored it determined to find my brother.

I swung the door open and the sun smacked me in the face. I squinted my eyes as they adjusted to the assaulting light. The morning was abnormally warm for this close to the winter. Vilkas was in his usual spot sitting in the chair that faced the courtyard, allowing him to see everyone who passed through. I strode up to him and knew he would sense my presence.

"Have you heard from or seen Iskyla at all?" No use beating around the topic.

"No I can't say I have," his voice seemed sharp. He must have been deep in thought when I interrupted him.

"It's been nearly a week since she left. I'm starting to worry." I thanked the gods for my deep voice that manages to hide emotions. The thought of her injured makes my stomach turn. I haven't quite placed why.

"Farkas. She's the Dragonborn for Talos's sake. I'm sure she can take on a group of bandits without a problem," he wasn't trying to hide the exasperation in his voice. I huffed.

"I know that Vilkas," I didn't bother to hide the annoyance in my tone. "That's why I'm worried. When I gave her the job she told me she was heading straight there. She only took the job because she needed coin for new armor. She's been talking about nothing but armor for weeks now. The cave the job was in is not even half a day's walk from here. Don't you find it a little strange that she isn't here yet?" My voice strained a little at the end and I hid my grimace. Vilkas sighed heavily and leaned back in the chair.

"Maybe you're right. Or maybe she just went off and did something else before coming back. She does have a life beyond the Companions, Farkas. She could have gone to Riverwood. It's only a short trip out of the way and she's been talking about seeing that Ralof she's always going on about." There was a hint of annoyance to his tone, but it was mostly for show. He likes to pretend he's annoyed even when he cares.

"Maybe," the idea rattled around in my head but still didn't make any connections. "I just have a bad feeling. If she were going to Riverwood, I really think she would have been back already. She hates going around in that armor." Vilkas heaved a sigh again.

"You're right. Damned whelp sure does like to complain. Maybe you should head that way and see what's going on. The worst you'll find is that she hasn't gotten there yet." It was my turn to sigh. The thought of going made me nearly as sick as the thought of not going.

"Kodlak probably won't be too happy if I leave without a job." The statement is fact. He likes having some of us around to guard Jorrvaskr. Vilkas stood up and clasped a hand on my shoulder. Despite being twins, he is several inches shorter than me.

"I'll deal with Kodlak, brother. If it will make you feel any better, go and look for her. I know you two are close." I nodded and turned away.

"Right, thank you brother," I said stepping away from the porch and into the courtyard. My feet carried me quickly towards the gates of Whiterun. Something is wrong and I am going to find her.

**A/N Sorry for the change in POV. I wasn't quite sure how to introduce Farkas into the story. I toyed with the idea of him having a surprise appearance, but I thought waiting until further in the story would seem weird. So yay weird conversation between Farkas and Vilkas. You would think with me on a near telepathic level with my sister would make it easier to write sibling relationships. Not really!**


	4. Chapter 4

A dull ache spread from my temples on both sides. The pain would occasionally become sharp and cause my stomach to turn. I groaned as feeling started making its way through the rest of my body. It still ached from sleeping on the cold stone floor in my cell. I shook my head and the room span. One side of my head got hit by the bandit leader and the other side hit the bedframe. The resulting headache spread through my entire skull. Instinct told me to wake up and move around. Trying to move my arms around, I found my hands and feet were bound apart. My eyes shot open and panic set in. I was laying on a simple straw made bed. The room I'm is different and the be is much bigger than the one in the cage. My guess is that it's the bandit leader's bed. A cold chill crept up my spine as the realization of what is about to happen hit me. Talos, I don't know if I can make it through this again.

The door opened and the leader strode in. He had traded the steel plate armor for a pair of simple leather pants. Like any Nord, he was tall and muscular. He was more wiry like Vilkas, though. His head was shaved on both sides save a strip down the middle and a braid off to the side. His gait was confident as he strode over to the bed and looked me over viciously. Another chill made its way through me but I shoved it off and met his gaze.

"Hmmmm, it's been a long while since I've had a good strong Nord woman in my bed. I think we will have some fun. You women are hard to seduce and even harder to trap." I growled in response. He smiled evilly and climbed into the bed, straddling my hips. He tangled his fingers through my hair. Tightening his grip, he pulled my head to the side sharply. A pleased growl came from his throat as he spoke. "Good, I like them tough. Makes it much more fun to break." His accent came in thicker when he spoke.

His breath repulsed me and I pulled against the rope with my full strength. By Talos I am not letting this wretch of a man touch me. I'd rather be sent to the depths of Oblivion before I let him have me. He smiled a vile grin as he sat back up and looked down on me. I watched his hands slide down the the hem of the leather pants he was wearing. His thick fingers quickly worked on the ties that held them to his waist.

I am the Dragonborn, how did I end up in a situation like this?! That's it; I'm Dragonborn. A loud commotion similar to the one I heard earlier came from the other side of the door. The sound of weapons being drawn was new, however. The yelling grew louder and louder coming closer to the door. The man above me growled deeply.

"Damn good for nothing sons of bitches. I'm not going to let their stupid fights interrupt my fun," he muttered as he finally got the laces to his pants undone. I sucked in a breath and freely let the power I kept under a tight rein grow in my chest and throat. He started to slide his pants off his pants and he smiled disgustingly as he licked his lips. This time I smiled in return as I felt the raw power of my shout come off my lips.

"FUS RO DAH!" The power of the shout was so strong and sharp it shook the room. Everything that was loose went flying, including the bandit leader that had been looming over me. He hit the wall with a sickening thud that rang in my ears. A thick trail of blood and body tissue followed him down the wall as he slid to the floor. The commotion outside the door came to a sudden stop and everything became eerily silent.

Several moments passed steeped in the silence before the sound of footsteps heading towards the door echoed off the stone walls. I had shouted with as much power as I could muster and there is no way the rest of the bandit clan did not hear my shout. I tugged vehemently against the ropes that still bind me to the bed. Desperation painted my actions and the rope rubbed my joints raw. The only reason the rest of the bandits hadn't laid waste to me was because they knew their leader would want me. Someone started turning the handle to the door and immediate panic set into my bones. I desperately struggled to sit up and a gasp of pain forced itself out of my lips as I pulled on my shoulder to hard nearly pulling it out of place.

The door swung open and I glanced up to find Farkas standing there. Relief washed over me and I flopped back onto the bed. I bit down on the embarrassment that was threatening to engulf me and let the relief take over. The entire situation is embarrassing, but it's just Farkas and not the rest of the bandit clan.

"What did you get yourself into this time, little one," he asked as he pulled out a dagger and began cutting the ropes that held me to the bed. His rough voice roiled over my skin and I struggled to keep a blush from creeping its way up my cheeks. I grumbled a little at the pet name he gave me. He's called me that since I got myself trapped in Dustman's Cairn.

"Damned poison arrow. I'm getting that fucking armor that actually covers my arms as soon as I get back to Whiterun. Dammit. I hope I have enough since I won't be getting paid for this job." I pushed myself off the bed and rubbed at my raw wrists. Farkas walked over and draped his cloak over my shoulders and set to tying it around my neck. He chuckled.

"IF you're short, I'll pay for the rest." I looked up at him. That is the last thing I expected to come out of his mouth and I had to beat down that blush again.

"You don't have to do that Farkas. Besides, I want to work for it." He smirked and shook his head at me while finishing up the tie.

"You have. It's not your fault these bandits were smarter than the normal brutes. Vilkas will probably give me hell for it, but I don't care." I groaned and ran my hand through my hair forcefully.

"Fuck. For the love of Talos don't tell your brother what happened. I feel stupid enough and I'll never hear the end of it from him. He already thinks I'm incompetent and he'll try to get me thrown out of Jorrvaskr." He laughed and the sound filled the room. He clasped his hand on my shoulder.

"I won't tell him, but I don't know how in Oblivion you're gonna cover this up. Vilkas doesn't think that lowly of you. He just acts like it. Trust me. He's not the most open person in the world." I buried my face in my hands, trying to hide my shame. This is without a doubt the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me.

"He sure as hell acts like I'm less than any of the other members of the Companions. It seems like he wants me out." He frowned deeply.

"I know he doesn't. You're still a whelp and he'll see you as such until you prove yourself to him. Trust me that's no easy task. It took Ria years before he stopped calling her a whelp and giving her the cold shoulder." I huffed and pulled the cloak tighter around myself.

"Let's go find my armor and get the hell out of here," I stated dropping the subject. I stalked past him and out the door into the main area of the cave. It took a few minutes before I found my gear stashed away in one of the many chests filling the room. I turned to check to make sure Farkas wasn't looking before pulling off the cloak and quickly pulling on my armor. Smiling, I shook out my shoulder. It feels good to be in armor again. My mind wandered back to Farkas and I paused.

"What are you doing here? Why did you come looking for me?" I asked suddenly. It makes no sense. He looked at me sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I got worried. You've been gone nearly a week and you told me you were going to go do the job then immediately come back. This cave is only half a day's walk from Whiterun so it didn't make sense for you to be gone so long." I quickly turned to look at him.

"I've been gone almost a week?" a hint of shock tinted my voice. He sent me a curious look and my stomach tied itself in knots.

"You didn't know?" Panic washed over me again.

"I've only been awake for a day or two max!" my voice shook and cracked at the end.

"You said they poisoned you. You must have been unconscious for the rest of the time." I groaned and put my face in my hands. The room was spinning. I feel weak for the first time in a long time. I swore to myself years ago that I would NEVER let myself feel this way again. Tears threatened to make their way down my cheeks. The weight in my chest was nearly crushing as memory after memory flooded my mind again. Things I never wanted to think about again.

A strong hand on my shoulder snapped me out of the spiraling depths of my own memories. I looked up to find Farkas looking at me with concern on his face. My heart stuttered a beat despite nearing the depths of a self-pitying downward spiral.

"Are you alright?" his normally rough voice was somewhat soft. I nodded and forcefully shoved the tears back down. I will NOT be going there again anytime soon.

"I'm fine. Let's get back to Whiterun."


End file.
